VUDU Sale, Score! #VideoDownloads #BritishHumor #PBS

Come Fly With Me SE01

VUDU is having a MASSIVE sale and folks on a movie forum that I frequent have been discussing the best deals to be had. Someone there mentioned that the full First (and only) Season (6 episodes) of a show called Come Fly With Me was on sale for $3.99 and then said he'd recommend the show to anyone who likes British humor. The person ended by saying the show was done by the same guys who did Little Britain. In response, several others on the forum posted to say that it was quite a good show and getting the entire season at this price was a great deal.

I hadn't heard of Come Fly With Me, but I knew Little Britain because a friend of mine had recommended it years ago. (This friend knows that I grew up watching old British television serials rerun on PBS, so dry British humor is actually my default.) Luckily, VUDU had recently given me a $3.00 gift credit to thank me for being a good customer and I'd also won a "20% Off Your Next Purchase" code in a partner sponsored contest. I decided to purchase the show as a blind buy.

Score! I was able to stack the two discounts and buy the full First Season for ONLY $0.19! I'll probably download Come Fly With Me and check out the show over the next week or so, time permitting. I figure how could I go wrong at 19-cents.... Thanks, VUDU!

She's Come Undone! #Cleanup #Storms #WeatherGeek

What can I say except that yesterday was beast. I'm completely knackered. Pup and I will have to recoup. It'll take a minute to clear up the debris. (As there's a Wind Advisory in effect until 10:00p tonight, we probably won't be able to do any meaningful cleanup until tomorrow at the earliest. Howling wind tends to blow debris right at you. Go figure.) It's a mess here, but many of those around us got hit worse. Overall, the South was pummeled. Chin up. We'll rise, again.

#TraintoBusan Egads! #Zombies #FilmFan #MovieReview

Watched Train to Busan last night. It was a bit of a slow burn to start, but I enjoyed it overall. I keep wondering how I would have handled the situation. Zombies will get us one day. You know they will.

#MarketWatch: Charting #Household #Trends #KitchenWitchery #Futurist

I keep an eye on trends. I don't follow, I lead the charge. I have an eye for talent, quality and competency. I absorb news and information, then distill it into relevant data. As a result, I am often ahead of the curve. I can see the big picture. (While I'm being a bit tongue in cheek in the sentences above, I do enjoy market forecasts, futurist diatribe and popular culture trends analysis. However, I do not generally set my life course based upon other people's predictions, excepting perhaps the weather. No one would accuse me of being a follower.)

Periodically, I'll try to share some of the trends I'm seeing as well as ones I predict will arise. Here's a quick snapshot of a few arcs that currently bend toward the future in the home market.

Have you noticed that in the modern kitchen:
H2O > soda
airfryer > deep fryer
organic > natural
organic > processed
plant-based > meat & potatoes


Have you noticed that in the modern household:
insulated stainless steel cups > H2O bottles


Have you noticed that in the modern home entertainment center:
streaming services > disc rental kiosks
OTA > cable
Timeshifted > Broadcast

____

NOTE: Not all trends are good. Merely because a lot of people pursue something does not mean it's appropriate, right or necessary. We sometimes get caught up in things, like a mob mentality.

My Own #GoofOff Day #PersonalDays #Holidays #Fun

Yesterday was National Goof Off Day. Sadly, the first I'd heard of this occurred yesterday morning and due to prior engagements, I was unable to do any goofing off. I have decided to rectify the situation by commandeering today in its stead. This is my personal Goof Off Day. Expect shenanigans.

#WorldWaterDay: #H2O Is #Life! #GiveBack #Donate #BlackRanger #BuyALadyADrink #waterbaby #watersign

I'm a water baby, some would go so far as to say a nymph. They might not be wrong. (Naiad, Nereid, or Oceanid are all Greek to me. When in Ireland, I'm a seal Selkie.) I was born under a water sign, obviously. I have always been attracted to bodies of water. The first time I saw the ocean as a child, I apparently ran toward it as if greeting an old friend --- and this was merely the Atlantic. The first time I witnessed the Pacific, I nearly lost it. I danced across the beach. The feeling is mutual. Water loves me, too. Whenever I go near the Ocean he tries to splash me. I get chased by Waves. I laugh. It's a game we play.

World Water Day

I say all this as a preface to the day. Today is World Water Day. (Water nymphs everywhere celebrate!) Water is life. We all need it, must have it, and unfortunately there are still far too many people without access to potable water. We can change this. Give clean water, sustain life.

There are several great charities --- like Thirst Project and Water.org --- working to bring potable water to areas in need. Pick one ....or two or three. DONATE. VOLUNTEER. GET ON IT! (Steps down from soap box.)

A few links to check out, a mere starting point:
1. http://www.stellaartois.com/en_us/buy-a-lady-a-drink.html
2. https://www.thirstproject.org/powerrangers/

Nosirree! I Will Not Shop @GooglePlay Not Tomorrow Not Today #PoorCustomerService #Error #Help

In December, I experienced an error with a movie rental on the Google Play service. The movie would not download. I would click [Download] and get a message saying that it was downloading but nothing would actually download. The error was specific to this rental as titles I had rented or purchased both before and after have downloaded without issue.

I tried periodically over a period of weeks to download the title, hoping it was a network "clog" that would clear itself. But as the 30-day window to begin watching the movie rental dwindled with no success in obtaining the download, I contacted Google Play support, which in itself was a convoluted ordeal of a process. (As is the case with many companies nowadays, there is no Customer Service email publicized. One has to ask for a callback or queue for a chat to get help. Ridiculous! I do not have time to sit & wait for support to pickup. There is a reason why email still rules the business day and has not become obsolete despite the myriad promises of many a workflow app: Timeshifting.)

I got in the chat queue and was eventually connected to a CS agent. (I won't say "a human" because it could have been a bot for all I know.) I explained the situation and asked for the download to be "reset" for my device so that it would stop hanging. The agent responded that he could not do this, cancelled the movie rental order and refunded the money (without asking, if I wanted a refund). I responded by saying that a refund wouldn't do me any good, because I had rented the movie under a promotion to "Rent Any Movie for $0.99." Putting $0.99 back into my account would not allow me to rent the movie again --- and ostensibly clear the hang by getting a fresh download --- unless I was also "refunded" the discount movie rental promo code. (It also happens that the $0.99 for the movie rental was paid with a promotional "cash" balance in my account.)

Obviously, the simple solution would have been to give me a "replacement movie rental" instead of automatically generating an order refund, as this would have been the equivalent value of what I received in the order (i.e., I originally rented a movie, refunding the net cost of the order did not give me a movie rental). The CS agent said he understood and would check on getting me another discount rental code. As getting this far in the support process had already taken more than an hour, I was out of time and needed to leave for a meeting. I stated as much and asked the CS agent if he could followup via email. He said he would.

I ended the chat and waited, and waited. I went about my business. I happened to be doing something else in my account when I noticed my Google Play balance was $0.00. I thought, "Where'd the 99-cents I was supposed to be refunded go? And, wait a minute, that support agent never did email me..." So on yesterday, over a month after the first chat, I contacted Google Play support AGAIN --- trying to find out why I did not have $0.99 balance in my account (the refunded amount) and why I never received any followup or discount movie rental code. Again, I had to first wait in the chat queue to be connected to someone. (Some AI chatbot?) I explained the earlier situation and was told in response that the refund had expired (the same say it was issued) because it was a promotional balance. The chatbot pointed to a nice generic "promotional balance offer terms" link. The gaul!

First, I did not ask for a refund and was awaiting the resolution on "getting a replacement movie rental that worked" which had yet to arrive.

Second, if you refund a customer's money and said refund has numerous conditions like a SAME DAY EXPIRATION, it might be HELPFUL to point this out to the customer at the time, especially if the customer is also waiting on a followup from you before he can proceed with a new order. (This omission of terms and the unresolved "bad download" issue were both completely ignored by the agent in the second chat.)

Third, if a customer contacts you with an issue where you've already dropped the ball, a repeated flagrant foul will not gain you a loyal customer.

The (second) agent could only repeat ad nauseum that the refund had expired and point to the "offer terms" link. As I stated (several times), I was not told any such terms by the first agent at the time I was given the refund and I was expecting a followup email from him in order to know how to proceed with getting a fix for the original hung download, so telling me this NOW over a month later was not helpful. The agent finally said "it was outside of her abilities." So I asked for a supervisor. The response was that a supervisor would EMAIL me. I laughed, and not with good humor.

I stated she would have to excuse me if at this point I didn't exactly profess faith in Google Play support. I asked for the supervisor's info and was merely given a name --- heaven forbid, you can't contact him directly! I ended the chat without optimism. I was not disappointed. His response was abysmal.

The email I received merely repeated the same details covered in the unhelpful overlong chat, namely that the refund had expired on THE SAME DAY ISSUED because it was a promotional balance. The supervisor did also tell me (unhelpfully) that I could always check any promotional balance expiration dates in my account under "Payments." Good one. As I was not originally informed that the refund was conditional, why on earth would I have checked for an expiration date? As I was awaiting a followup email (that never arrived) for the original issue (that had yet to be resolved), your blatantly ignoring the actual problem and harping on a "refund" that only existed on my account for less than 24 hours is NOT winning me over. I responded that the information being given NOW would have been helpful, if given at the time the first agent processed a refund without asking. I await the supervisor's response. I am not holding my breath.

Needless to say, this is a perfect example of a customer service FAIL. The original problem was never resolved. (I never got a movie rental download.) I was not contacted with further details as promised. When I am finally able to CONTACT YOU to find out what is going on, you do not apologize, you do not correct the original problem, you instead respond with further incompetence.

And Google Play wonders why I have yet to "add a payment method" to complete my profile. (I keep getting prompts to do so.) There is a reason why I only use promotional credits and gift cards for (most) online services like this, and the "customer service" example above is exemplar of it. Do you honestly think I'd trust the village idiot with my credit card? Sorry, Google Play. Nosirree! I will not shop at Google Play (not with "real" money, anyway) not tomorrow, not today. (Thank you, Dr. Seuss.)

This is what poor customer service begets you. I still haven't seen Sully. The movie was the hung rental download. This entire experience left such a bad taste in my mouth, that I haven't bothered to rent Sully, again, either on Google Play or elsewhere. It has been associated in my mind, unfortunately and unfairly, with a bad experience. I may never see it. Google Play support sucks. There, I said it. (Sadly, this type of "service" seems to be the norm nowadays, especially online.)

I have not received a satisfactory resolution to my case.

Beware the #IdesofMarch It Comes for Thee Also Maybe. #WeatherGeek + #SYWR Score #Veggetti #Zoodles #AsSeenOnTV

Julius Caesar was betrayed and murdered on the 15th of March (the 15th day of the month is known as the "Ides" in the Roman era) and as a result, this day has henceforth been synonymous with misfortune. Beware the Ides of March!

Many have no doubt heard this warning, but might also be unaware from whence it comes. Because one dude bought the farm on this date eons ago, the rest of us are cautioned to tread carefully today. Yeah, right. Sorry, Caesar, perhaps you should have picked better friends or how about not be a "Caesar"? Dictators often fair poorly. Just saying.

Personally, I'm good with March 15th. In fact, any "Ides" is fine by me. Speaking of which, today is bear hibernation cold --- as was yesterday, and tomorrow is supposed to be more of the same before a warming trend kicks in on Friday afternoon --- but, considering the frigid and snowy weather conditions in the Northeast right now, we got off lightly down here.

The potential for blizzards was a major reason why I chose not to attend university in the Northeast. I do not love the cold. (Sorry, Ivies. If only, you would've moved to California. Oh, wait...) So pup and I are hunkered down again today. Though pup keeps trying to take meandering strolls outdoors --- just because she has a built-in fur coat!

On the house front, my Kick-A-Kitchen is continuing to develop nicely. As it was cold, wet and windy yesterday, after I finished work, I spent part of the afternoon browsing online looking for deals since I couldn't very well go work outside. The afternoon was not wasted. I scored an As Seen On TV: Veggetti Pro Spiral Vegetable Cutter [MSRP $32.98] for only $3.77 OOP.

Having researched "vegetable spiralizers" over the last year or so --- the gadget is was on my Future Shopping List, after all --- I knew that the Veggetti Pro Spiral Vegetable Cutter is well rated (earning approximately 4.5 out of 5 stars on both Amazon and Kmart), especially when compared to the handheld regular Veggetti Spiral Vegetable Cutter (which merely earns approximately 3.5 out of 5 stars on both Amazon and Kmart).

Having done SYWR product catalog searches for "vegetable spiralizers" and "vegetable slicers," I also knew that both the handheld regular version and the pro version of the Veggetti Spiral Vegetable Cutter were carried by either Sears or Kmart, so I realized there was a good possibility that I would eventually happen upon a deal for one --- preferably the pro version.

The Back Story: Sadly, I no longer enjoy pasta. This has been a gradual, yet fairly recent, seemingly unexplainable change in palate, as I absolutely loved pasta when I was a kid. (Oddly enough, however, I did hate macaroni & cheese as a child, which I could not have explained to myself if I had been asked to do so, because separately I loved pasta and I loved (still love) cheese. WTF? But perhaps, this strangeness was a precursor to my current food preferences.) Over the last several years, I've progressed from hating Mac & Cheese, to hating all "big noodle" pasta --- I could tolerate Angel Hair pasta, for a time --- to disliking pasta, period. I like the "idea of noodles" --- just not the taste or consistency of pasta, apparently.

But I, of course, love veggies. (I'm vegetarian.) As such, I decided that what I craved was a noodle-like alternative to pasta. Enter "zoodles" --- or in this case, the ability to turn vegetables, like zucchini [zucchini noodles = zoodles], and fruits into noodle form. It's all the rage! I figured I could continue to enjoy "noodles" without my increasing distaste for water cooked dough (pasta) making me gag. Thus, I've been wanting a vegetable spiralizer or spiral cutter, the kitchen gadget which turns veggies and fruits into noodles, for a minute.

How'd I get this great low price? (Less than 1/8 of the MSRP.) Check the step-by-step breakdown:

1. I started at Sears. The regular price of a Veggetti Pro Spiral Vegetable Cutter on the sears.com website is only $19.99 (versus $24.99 + $7.99 p&h, which is the amount I would have paid by ordering one directly from the manufacturer's website, veggettipro.com). It pays to shop around and compare prices.

2. Sears was having a Friends & Family Sale on Sunday in stores (but the sale continued through Tuesday online) which discounted most small appliances by 10%. Thus, Sears regular price of $19.99 instantly dropped to $16.99 on sale.

3. Next, I used a coupon. I'd previously loaded a "Member Exclusive" coupon to my Sears account which offered "15% Off Any Item in the Home Department." With the coupon, the $16.99 price dropped to $14.44.

4. Then, I redeemed my rewards. I had rewards points in my account, accumulated from small sweepstakes wins over the last two weeks. This sweeps loot totalled $10.92, which brought the pre-tax item price down to $3.52 when deducted. (I could've opted to find an item that was $10.92 or less and in turn get said item totally free with my rewards points balance, of course. For instance, the handheld Veggetti Spiral Vegetable Cutter is only $9.99 at Kmart, so I could have bought it and paid zero out-of-pocket. However, being able to score the very well rated pro version instead is a big win on a useful tool I actually wanted.)

5. Finally, the tax was 25-cents. Making the total due $3.77. I selected Free Store Pickup as the order didn't meet the recently increased $30 threshold in order to qualify for SYWMax Free Shipping.

So while it will take a trip to the local Sears store to get my grubby hands on the Veggetti Pro Spiral Vegetable Cutter, I'll have spent less than 1/8 the cost of purchasing it online directly from the manufacturer, which makes this a great deal in my boo7k, in spite of having to pick it up at the store.

BONUS: I paid the OOP cost with my "free" money stash (discretionary income earned from taking random surveys online). Not a bad afternoon. Winning! This is like an early birthday gift to myself. Yay! I get to enjoy "pasta", again.

#PiDay 3.14: Feed the World. Let Them Eat #Maths.

It is said that Mathematics is the language of Science. (The same could be said for Music or Engineering.) All fields which require an understanding of numbers. Weights, measures, meters... and pie. Sorry, that's Pi, or more accurately, π.

One of my favorite relational numbers, the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. A constant. That π. Circles are lovely creatures, are they not? So round, so ourobouros, eating itself. No end. No beginning. Just complete. (Let the circle be unbroken...)

So on this day, 3.14, we celebrate the beauty of this perfect ratio by ...eating pizza. No? Odd, isn't it how everything leads us humans to food. I guess there is truth to the old adage that "you are what you eat" ...and I eats Maths ...for breakfast.

Eat Pi. That's amore!

#SpringForward? Thank You Mr. Franklin? #DST

This morning, about two hours ago actually, we Spring Forward for Daylight Saving Time (DST). While I appreciate many of the things Ben Franklin did for us, I'm not certain I cotton to this one. (Franklin proposed the concept in 1784, but it was not adopted in modernity until roughly 100 years later.) I suppose as a child it made more of a difference for it to be "light" when I walked to school in the morning year round, but with all the artificial light polluting illuminating the world nowadays it seems more of an anachronism. If only we could return to a simpler time without lights. Wait, that's not right...

An hour "lost", but enlightenment gained? One can hope.

National Something Something Day? Overzealous Marketing Calendar

When did each day of the year get claimed in promotion of some product or other? I enjoy celebrations, I like having fun. However, this whole marketing ploy of claiming a day for carrots, magaritas and chocolate milk has gone a bit overboard. I mean, really? Not that this can't be a fun excuse for an impromptu party, but come on... 

If tomorrow is National Kumquat Day, I'm rolling over and going back to bed. It's just too much! (Sorry, kumquat.)

Those Wild & Crazy #Vikings! #Norway Ditches #FMRadio, Goes #Berserker. #DAB #BFF

I have a thing for Vikings, or perhaps, more accurately Vikings have a thing for me, because I certainly seem to attract all manner of them. (I kid you not, I was once handed a credit card and told to book myself a flight to Sweden in order to rendezvous with a certain Swede at his cabin in Göteborg --- 'twas quite the pickup line.) It's appropriate then, that one of my besties is a Viking... er... mickay... I mean, he's Norwegian.

The two of us have been good friends for well over 15 years and presumably we'll remain as such for the rest of our lives (baring his or my turning out to secretly be a serial killer or something worse). We met in California when I was still a student at university and he was working as a Silicon Valley Venture Capitalist and afterward spent a LOT of time in each other's company. We were so close that people often assumed we were a married couple when encountering us out & about, and I seemingly picked up a Norwegian inflection to my speech at times.¹

My friend and I continue to keep in touch via Skype (mainly in-app txt & Skype-to-phone), regular txt and email though he's since returned to his native Norway and I'm back in my native Georgia. We crack each other up, as we both have a sometimes acid sense of humor, coupled with a VERY secure sense of self.

An etymological aside: The English word "berserk" meaning crazed or crazy is derived from the Old Norse term bearserk, the frenzy into which bear-skin wearing Vikings or bearserkers would work themselves with all that raping and pillaging, which apparently takes a lot of energy. (You've got to respect a culture that gives yours the word for crazy.)

We spend a good deal of time ribbing each other over the various and sundry things which make our individual countries and cultures great. For instance, a month or so back an entire herd of reindeer were struck by lightning when a freak storm caught them out in the open on a random Norwegian plateau. After seeing the article on a news site, I sent him a quick Skype txt asking why Norway had it in for reindeer and pondered whether Santa Claus would be next on their "hit list."

Norway also happens to be one of the most oil-rich nations in the world and so, (circa 2003, i.e., the Iraq War) I would tease that he'd better watch out because America might "discover" Norway held WMD and use it as an excuse to invade any day now. In his turn, he, of course, laments American hubris and gets in his own zingers. We argue good-naturedly over who's selected for the Nobel Peace Prize each year ---- Norway names its recipient, while Sweden picks the recipients of the remaining Nobels --- and sometimes watch the annual Nobel concert together virtually. Between us, nothing is sacred.

On 11-01-2017 at 11:11a local time, Norway began turning off FM radio transmissions, becoming the first country to officially ditch the band, and started moving to Digital Audio Broadcasting (DAB) which proponents say will be cheaper to operate and provide more clarity of signal. Opponents, of course, worry about the Norwegians who live in far flung rural areas and who travel in older vehicles who might not be able to receive digital signals. It will be interesting to see how this plays out, but either way, it was so kind of Norway to act as world guinea pig in taking on this endeavour. I sent my friend a quick txt asking if he could still hear me now or if the broadcast signal was fuzzy where he is and attached the article. (He lives in an Oslo suburb, so I was obviously being facetious, but that's the point.)

As for the transition to DAB, as a tech geek, I like the idea of a crisp digital radio signal. And I also believe America will have to cross this same bridge soon enough --- rather like our recently completed transition to DTV. But as someone who grew up in a rural area, I can definitely understand the concerns that Norwegians in rural areas are voicing. As America is a much larger country with huge swaths of wide open spaces, such issues will no doubt be compounded for us and a solution (potentially a subsidy like that employed to assure rural America could get telephone service) will have to be found. Fun times are ahead!

____

¹An explanation for my Norwegian accent: At a friend's house party in San Francisco one evening, I happened to end up standing next to some guy who was regaling everyone with tales of the years he'd spent working in Finland. He'd also traveled extensively throughout Scandinavia, he said. He kept trying to cozy up to me and at one point asked if I wanted to go back to his place, which so happened to be right around the corner. Shaking my head "no," I made an offhand excuse which elicited a very odd look from the guy (odder than being politely turned down should have elicited). When I inquired as to why he suddenly looked as if he'd seen a ghost, he responded, "This is so strange, but you just spoke with a Norwegian accent." I laughed so hard I think I probably snorted my drink through my nose. In between my peals of laughter, the poor fellow tried to find out why on earth this was so funny. I finally gasped that as I spent nearly every day hanging out with a Viking, I suppose that was fair consequence and that I'd also never hear the end of it, if said Viking ever gets wind of the fact that he's succeeding in "turning" me Norwegian.

When #Nature Calls, Sometimes It's a Wrong Number #GoodDog #Dogs #Wilderness #Fauna

So last night, er correct that, as 'twas 1:00a, so this morning. My pup comes to get me. (By the way, I will generally refer to any dog as puppy or pup, regardless of its age, because each is someone's furbaby --- or should be. To say, I'm a dog person is, putting it mildly.) Anywho, she's all frisky and dancing around and nudging me. So I ask her, if she needs to go out. Instant tail wag.

Know that normally, she sleeps through the night without incident, but like her human counterparts she sometimes over indulges during the holidays --- everybody who visits us these days brings treats, or so it seems --- and occasionally needs "an extra go." All she has to do is ask. I will get up and take her out, day or night. No argument.

She knows this, and as I found out this morning, counts on it. (We've had a few coyote sightings in our area recently, so I don't allow her to range unattended at night, though she'd no doubt be a proper match for any coyote. I'm not faulting the coyote, mind, we humans are the culprits who've encroached on his habitat.)

Rhodesian Ridgeback

Temperament: Dignified, Intelligent, Loyal, Mischievous, Sensitive, Strong Willed

So we go out at 1:00a-ish. It's already dropped down to 30 odd degrees outside. In other words, it's as cold as a witch's tit. But pup, my pup, she's out strolling like we're taking a Sunday morning constitutional, leisurely checking each and every tree, sometimes doubling back, pausing here and there. After a bit of this, I start to get the sneaking suspicion that I'd been snookered.

Of course, it being in the thirties outside is no matter to her. She has a nice full length fur coat, so frolicking in cold weather is nothing to her. I stop mid-step, I'm like pup, "Do you actually need to go?" She turns around and gives me the doe eyes, like "Whatdayamean? I thought this was a walk..." And there you have it. I discovered I live with a con artist.

We turned around and headed back toward the house. She came back in and went straight off to sleep. I, on the other hand, was wide awake from the effects of the bracing cold air. Shaking my head and laughing to myself. The rascal. Rhodesian Ridgeback for the win!

#Grammar Wrongs < An Author's Voice

Dear Grammarians,

I am a practitioner of the Language Arts in its definition as the art of language. I study language/s with relish. I'm a fan of Greek and Latin, Old Norse and Old English and these are merely the opening act. My vocabulary is writ large and multilingual, rife with dialects or cultural contradictions, accents and shorthand. Language is a Grand Old Party, preferably of the Lincoln vintage. (Sixteen is sweet for a number of reasons. Pun intended or at the very least intimated.)

I am well educated. This is said as a statement of fact, not as a boast, though I am an unapologetic snob in many regards. I became both a fledgling etymologist (and a budding entomologist, because I dig bugs (sometimes literally) and appreciated the tandem symbology) around the age of two. I was, to put it mildly, a precocious child. Words were my first Great Love. I am enamoured still. Agape mou (not meant in the biblical manner). Fuck Words! Oops.

To save you bother, know that Strunk & White are dear friends, but their ministrations are relegated to an electronic book these days. Have I mentioned that I am also also a techie (and Monty Python fan)? I know Grammar. Hi, Grammar! I often choose to ply or ignore completely its rules. Alas, poor Grammar! I do so intentionally... because I can. This amuses me. I'm laughing as I write this. My smile is wry. My humor chiefly British. (See the perhaps fabricated er, exaggerated "History of the State of Georgia, former 13th Colony". I'm the author. It's a work in progress, but I digress.)

Make no mistake; however, I am an American. I am "big on" personal liberty (and its kissing cousin personal accountability). By the way, I adore parenthetical phrases and hyphenated clauses --- and overuse them. And I occasionally start sentences with "and" or "but", use Apostrophe mercilessly and dangle participles as I choose. (In case you possess sensitive ears, I will state upfront at the getgo that I believe curse words are the pepper of language. I happen to like pepper in my cooking and my speech.) Odd to you, these predilections are my right as an Author. I believe language should be fun and exciting instead of being plainly utilitarian. Loosen up.

Please also note that I often employ vernacular, colloquialisms and turns of phrase which may offend your sense of what is right and proper. Sorry not sorry. Do not feel the need to "correct" me. Stay your red pen. I am woe to call anyone a "Nazi", a terrible term for a reason, but if the shoe fits wear it, Cinderella. I know Grammar. Bye, Grammar! I am no student Hell bent on proving to some teacher that I can memorize and regurgitate a set of arbitrary rules. This is not school. I have never enjoyed being spoon fed. I am an adult who strategically throws verbal tantrums. Take a deep breath, if need be. Deal with it.

I am an Author. Toying with language and grammar is the very foundation of my Voice. I've been at it a lifetime. For me, the Wonder of Language is in its active usage and we all know this alters over time. Words fall out of favor or return to fashion upon the whims of Man. In spite of this, nay, because of this, I always march to the beat of my own drum, which may or may not be in step with current conventions. For I am a true Southern Rebel. Also, a real American Revolutionary. Don't Tread on Me. Quote me.

Caveat Emptor! (Boy howdy son, was that fun to write!)

Signed,

--- The "Sybilant" Southerner, the Snake in your grammatical Garden of Eden.

P.S. Go ahead, bite the Apple. Knowledge is Power.

#HomeAutomation Intranet Brain FTW! #AmazonEcho #Prize

I spent time over the last several months looking at home automation options. I determined that I wanted to automate security, locks, lights, blinds, thermostat, media center and any SmartKitchen appliances --- at the very least. Based on the current market of smart assistants (AI engines), I also determined that Amazon's Alexa platform is compatible with and in many cases integrated into most of these consumer product categories. Thus, I thought it worthwhile to acquire an Amazon Echo. (I planned to use it as the hub around which to build my home automation intranet.)

In addition to being DIY crafty (a natural born engineer), I'm also $ thrifty (a natural born economist), and as a result, LOVE contests and smart shopping deals. My motto could be: Why spend money on something if you can get it for free or very, very cheap? I knew with the holiday season upon us chances to win various "hot ticket gifts" would abound. I spent a few minutes on Twitter searching for contests featuring either an Amazon Echo or Echo Dot. I probably entered 10 or so, most only requiring a tweet.

Obviously, random drawing contests are hit or miss. Depends on the number of entries received, the cycle of the moon, the crow of the cock, etc., etc., but as the saying goes "you can't win, if you don't enter". I'll throw my name into the proverbial hat, if entering is simple (a fill out a form, send a tweet sort of thing). I don't jump through any hoops for merely the chance to win.

However, I prefer contests of skill. Because I'm damn good at skill based contests. It's the nature of the beast. If the entry requires some talent (essays, equations, design sketches, etc.), I like my chances. I wasn't the star student in EVERY academic subject in secondary school, for nothing. I'm like "Bring it"! So I also entered a contest that asked me to tell a story built around a set theme for a chance to win an Amazon Echo. And what do you think happened?

My Prize

Roughly within a week of deciding I needed an Amazon Echo, I'd won one, told the contest organizers which color I wanted (blackety black black black) and accepted delivery of my prize. It came direct delivery from Amazon.com in a beautiful gift bag with a lovely card attached.

My niece, the one who calls me "the luckiest aunt on the planet" could only laugh when I told her about my new toy and ask me for the umpteenth time to pick some lotto numbers. I keep trying to get her to understand that my "luck" doesn't work like that. But yeah, I am laughing.

Having acquired a Brain, I can begin sewing together the Body Politic of my home automation network. Why do I feel like Doctor Frankenstein... wait a minute, did the label on that jar the brain came out of read "Abby Normal"? Oh, that's merely Amazon attempting to give Alexa a sense of humor. I got jokes, folks.